Anytime we think or say something that hurts we are judging ourselves unnecessarily.
Self-judgment is emotionally draining. A self-observation on the other hand is emotionally neutral.
Where does this urge to judge come from? I think it comes from us trying to make sense of the lack and pain that we feel in our hearts.
Unfortunately trying to make sense of something that needs only to be felt makes the disturbance grow within us. When we avoid feeling what needs to be felt we lock the disturbing energies in our heart.
There they remain only to bubble up every time we get triggered by a situation that reminds us of an original hurt.
Just beneath most self-judgment is a self-assessment that we aren’t enough in some way. This assessment like all comparisons create even more pain.
It’s important to know that you are not the shame you feel. You are not the embarrassment you feel or the pain you feel. All of it is only a temporarily disturbing energy that’s seeking to pass through you.
Yet if you try to avoid it – it will stay. If you fight it – it will grow. If you label it – it will remain within you. If you do anything other than feeling it then it will stay with you draining your energy.
So if you aren’t these temporary disturbing energies then there is nothing to judge you for doing or not doing. You haven’t failed at anything other than mishandling the disturbance.
Your mind runs wild with self-judgement because you give it the power of attention. Self-judgment is concluding that you’re lacking in some way.
Beneath that is the conclusion that you’re incapable of receiving love. Once again it’s only a reason we give ourselves to try and explain the pain within our hearts.
Self-judgment is giving voice to inner disturbance. It’s trying to solve a disturbance mentally that can only be solved emotionally by feeling.
All judgments begin simply as vibrations to be felt. They don’t become hardened conclusions until we allow our minds to attach a thought to them.
Can you imagine being totally free from self-judgment? Self-judgment is only an attempt to protect oneself from emotional pain and when we try to do so we waste lots of energy trying to do what can’t be done.
We think that by avoiding pain we can avoid uncomfortable feelings by labeling them as bad. But that label because it’s inaccurate only serves to capture the pain and store it in our hearts.
How do you think you’d feel if you were incapable of judging yourself? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to experience that self-loving feeling naturally?
You learned to judge yourself by trying to fit in because everyone else was judging you and themselves.
But what if all judgment, especially self-judgment, was banned?
What if you existed within an environment that was totally judgment free?